Suspicion
by iluve2danz
Summary: What really happens after Reed is pushed off the yacht.. Does she survive? Find out..
1. Lost & Found

**_Chapter 1: Lost and Found_**

Why am I in the water, what happened? Last thing I remember was smelling something musky, then someone was trying to pull Noelle's necklace off of me. I didn't jump, am not that crazy. Someone pushed me I know it, am going to find out if I survive….

"HELP!!!" I shouted as loud as could, which wasn't really that loud considering the boats engine roaring and everyone on board going on with their lives, doesn't somebody notice am not there.

"Anyone hear me please help me!!" I shouted again with little enthusiasm I wasn't going to get through this alive, if anyone found me it was going to be because I washed up on the beach in a couple days.

All I kept thinking about in the freezing water was what Poppy Simmon said to me, that I was Hurricane Reed, I was beginning to think she was right about me, unless she was the one that pushed me. Nut it couldn't have been her she ran somewhere then that JERK Upton ran after her leaving me there to think about what just happened with Mrs. Ryan and Poppy I was so embarrassed and he left me. Then something else came into my mind, Josh. Josh wouldn't have left me there for another girl, but thinking about a little harder he did leave me for another girl, he didn't even give me a chance to explain. He had to hear the truth from my stalker, Sabine. I was going to make it through this somehow, I was for him and only him, not for Upton or Noelle, for Josh.

I could feel my body going numb and my legs and arms getting tired from doggy paddling. The yacht had gone far now I was trying to swim after it, I was chasing my only hope of survival away. I was miles away from the shore I wasn't going to make this. I started swimming towards the shore now and after 15 more minutes of swimming I finally gave up, I started to whisper the last thing that came to my mind,

"I'm so sorry Josh, am soooo……"

I didn't get to finish my sentence, but before everything went black I saw a boat coming towards me but I didn't have the strength to hang on, who knew if they would hear me or see my, but with the luck that I have they probably wont even look my way.

"Hey there's something in the water, it looks like a dead….."

"Holy Shit, dad get my a rope there's a girl in the water."

"A girl, Josh go help Lynn.. What are you guys waiting for jump in and save that girl!!"

All I heard were sounds no words just noises, I knew they were people there I just couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Oh dear, I will call for an ambulance."

There was another person, a lady I think. Did they see me was I being rescued?

"Josh grab her legs, I got her head."

Josh? Josh was there? I thought he was with Ivy, and I thought they were in Paris. I started to get my strength back I had to see if it was my Josh.

"Josh." I whispered

"Holy Crap, she's alive and apparently….. Oh my God, Josh its Reed!!"

"WHAT!! Reed?? Reed?? Can you hear me.." he whispered into my ear.

"Mom, Dad its Reed throw me a rope hurry, she's freezing." yelled Lynn.

I don't think Josh could compute that I was right there with him, he didn't speak anymore. He just kept saying my name.

"Josh come one, it takes more than one person to get her up there…. JOSH!!" yelled Lynn

"WHAT!! OK OK, FUCK." shouted Josh rite back at Lynn.

"I got her, I got her. Susan get some towels and blankets for her, she's freezing." Mr. Hollis said.

"Is she gonna be ok, Reed can you hear me, please say something.." Josh pleaded.

"Josh give her some room, she will be fine." said Lynn.

"Give her room, are you serious?? Your not the one that just found your girlfriend half dead floating in the middle of the ocean." shouted Josh.

"I believe its EX-GIRLFRIEND, remember?.." said Lynn

I didn't hear anything, but then I heard this,

"OUCH, WHAT THE F, DUDE!!" screamed Lynn.

"Both of you STOP IT NOW!!!" yelled Mr. Hollis

"You have no idea what your talking about, ok so just stay out of my business." said Josh

Then I heard footsteps getting farther away, I was hoping they were Lynn's but then Mr. Hollis said "Leave your brother alone, he is just worried, ok Lynn."

"Yea, whatever. Am worried too. Do you really think she is going to be ok??" asked Lynn

"God I hope so, I really hope so." whispered Mr. Hollis

That was the last thing I heard, nobody spoke anymore.


	2. Pain

Chapter 2: Pain

I couldn't remember what happened, it was all a blank. All I could remember was Josh's beautiful voice whispering my name and kept saying I was going to be ok. Be ok? What exactly happened? I would have to remember sooner or later, I would choose later of course, I kept hearing these annoying little beeps. Beep, beep, beep, beep… then I fell back into a deep sleep again.

I didn't know if I was still asleep but I heard a mans voice talking to someone, not near me but close enough so that I could hear the conversation.

"Hi am Dr. Leon, Miss Brennan's doctor, that is. You folks are here for Reed right?"

"Yes, yes we are. How is she?" it was a woman's voice.

"Is she awake? Please tell me she's going to be ok."

There was the voice again, the angelic voice, my saviors voice, the voice of Joshua Hollis.

"Josh please let the man speak." this was also coming from a man, Mr. Hollis am assuming.

"Sorry doctor, am just really worried about her. Go ahead." Josh said.

"Miss Brennan is in critical condition and has suffered some minor injuries such as, a broken leg and many bruises and scratches. But I am happy to say she will make a full, healthy recovery." said Dr. Leon.

"OH THANK GOD!!" this was a sort of a shout and it came from Mr. and Mrs. Hollis at the same time.

I didn't hear Josh though , which I was a little disappointed about. I was happy don't get me wrong I just had a broken leg and was going to make a full recovery. I just couldn't wait to get out of this hospital. I was wondering if Josh was even still standing there with the doctor and his parents, I couldn't hear him and it was making me wonder if he really just saved me because he had to, or did he really still love me. I thought he was in Paris the whole time I was in St. Barts, he said he HAD to stay with Ivy, that she NEEDED him. But Ivy was my friend and being the softy that I am I let in instead of telling him how I felt about him ever since all this starting happening. I should have made him take me back, who knew I was drugged at the Legacy I mean I took him back after the little thing he did with Cheyenne, but like I said am a big softy especially when it comes to Josh. While I was still thinking about all that drama I heard Mrs. Hollis.

"Oh Josh, please don't cry the doctor says she is going to make a full recovery."

"I know am not crying because am sad, am crying because am happy that she is going to be ok, am glad, ecstatic, overjoyed, excited that I get to see her again, do you need anymore of an explanation?" Josh said with a chuckle, but I could tell in his beautiful voice that he was getting choked up. He was crying because I was going to be ok. Oh no, now am crying, at least I think I am. Am I even awake, or am I dreaming. So I took a chance and opened my eyes for the first time and was at first blinded by the bright lights in the room.

" You folks can go in and see her if you would like, I don't think she's awake yet but just to see her." Dr. Leon said to the Hollis'.

"If you'll excuse me, there's an emergency on level 13." said Dr. Leon.

"Oh ok, thank you so much for everything!" said Mrs. Hollis. Always being as polite as she can, she was there comforting her family. Then I started to think of my parents and brother, where were they?

Did they even know I was in the hospital? I hadn't talked to them since Christmas, I hope that Mr. or Mrs. Hollis called them and explained everything that happened. Then I saw him, Josh poked his head into the door frame, I looked over at him and he smiled so big I thought his face was going to stay like that.

"Hey." is all he said. He stayed by the door and leaned on the doorframe.

"Hi" is all that came out of my mouth, my throat hurt so bad, but I had to tell him everything, I had to tell him how I felt and how I will always feel about him. So I tried to sit up, but that wasn't quite working out, so I kinda shouted in pain, cuz it really hurt. Josh rushed over to help me, when he touched me it felt like I was floating, I had to tell him.

"There you go, are you ok?" is all he asked.

"Yea, sorry I guess am kind of an idiot trying to move."

"You're not an idiot, just not that smart." he said with a chuckle.

I laughed at that, cuz I really wasn't smart at all.

"OW, don't make me laugh." I told him.

"Why? Does it hurt when you laugh?" he asked

"Oh yea, the doctor said I have a couple bruised ribs, but he said I was just lucky they aren't broken like my leg." I told him

"Sorry, I wont make you laugh anymore. So…" he said.

I couldn't just sit here and take this, I couldn't just keep all these emotions built up inside me anymore. They have been inside for so long….

"Josh am sorry! Am sorry for everything, for the Legacy, for Dash, for not being myself when I became president of Billings. I just got caught up in the power that I had I just thought I could change things, you know? Am sorry for not leaving with you the night of the Legacy, I should have but I just," I paused, what was I that night, why didn't I leave with him, I mean I loved him right?

"But you just what?" he asked

"I don't know who I was that night, it wasn't Reed, I was completely out of it, I was drunk and apparently drugged, or so I was told." I said with a slight chuckle remembering back to Kiran's party, when Sabine who was suppose to be my best friend turned on me and became my stalker.

"You don't know who you were? Are you serious?" he asked. His voice had a bit of edge to it like he was gonna break down or crack.

"Yes am serious, I was out of it when I did all those things, especially the things with Dash. Please you have to trust me, I would never willingly hurt you like that Josh, please." I told him. He was going to know how I felt about him.

"Josh I lo.."

"Please don't say that, of all things you can say!" he yelled.

Then he did something I would've never imagined. Not even the broken leg, all the bruises, and all the scratches can compare with the pain I felt when he turned his back and walked out my room and out of my life.


	3. That's What Friend's Are For

Chapter 3: That's What Friends Are For (Josh's P.O.V)

Why did I just walk out? Why didn't I just let her explain everything? I guess I do have to get back on my pills. Am such an idiot! I have to make it up to her, I cant just leave her here with my parents. But what could I do? Ok Josh think, call Noelle!!

"Oh honey is she asleep?" my mom asked me

"Umm, yeah she is." I couldn't tell her that I just walked out of there like that, she would probably kill me.

"Well am sure she will wake up soon. In the mean time I called parents already and explained everything and they are on a plane on their way here. They sounded really nice, but were also extremely worried. They really love her." she said

"Yea am sure they do, I mean its their only daughter. I am going to make a couple calls to the Lange's and everyone to tell them what happened, they are probably really worried too." I told her.

"Josh are you feeling alright, you don't look that great." she asked me.

"Really? I feel fine." I told her. That was a complete lie, of course am not alright, the love of my life is in the hospital and I haven't taken my meds in a couple weeks.

"Bye. And could you call me if she wakes up, I really need to talk to her. Thanks." I said as I was walking away.

"Ok I will, and tell the Lange's I said hello." she yelled back to me.

I got into my car, and pulled my pill box out of the glove department and took them. I had to be real, and not raw next time I talk to her. So to the Lange's house. Man this place is huge, I haven't been here in a while. I parked the car and sat there for a while, I was really thinking I must have lost track of time, because next thing I know Noelle is knocking on my window and asking why I have been sitting there for the last 30 minutes. Finally I got out of the car.

"If your looking for Reed, I haven't seen her since last night." she said with her award winning attitude.

"I know she isn't here, she's at the 's Hospital because she decided she wanted to go for a swim last night and JUMPED OFF a boat!!" I yelled after her because she was walking away.

She stopped all of a sudden in her tracks,

"What are you talking about, she was with Upton all night last night. They snuck off together, who knows what they were doing. But if I know Upton Giles he got what he wanted." Noelle said as a matter of factually and a smirk on her face.

"Did you not just hear what I said, SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL!! Why would I make this up??!!" I yelled at her. Something about her changed like she just understood what I was saying.

"OH MY GOD!! DADDY…." she screamed. She started running towards her house.

"DADDY!! DADDY!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs when she got into the house.

"What's going on!!" yelled Dash from the top of the staircase.

"Reed's in the hospital!! We have to go, come on Dash. Where's my father??" she yelled.

"He's by the pool." Dash told her.

She ran like her feet were on fire, I have never seen her run that fast not even in soccer games. I followed her and Dash came down and followed too.

"DADDY!! DADDY!! REED'S IN THE HOSPITAL!!" she ran screaming to the backyard.

"Noelle calm down, now what's going on?" her father asked.

"Calm down, you want me to calm down. Dad, Reed's in the hospital, she jumped off the boat last night and supposedly the Hollis's found her half dead, and now she's in the hospital!" she said all in one breath.

"Ok ok lets get to the hospital." Mr. Lange said.

Dash and Noelle rode over with me, it was actually quite awkward. That's an understatement, it was really awkward, especially with Dash sitting rite behind me. That is until Noelle broke the silence.

"What did the doctors say?" Noelle asked.

"They said that she will make a full recovery with only a broken leg, bruises and scratches." I told her.

"That's good, so why aren't you with…" she was cutoff by her phone.

Thank god, saved by the phone. She was going to ask me why I wasn't in Paris with IVY. If she would have finished her sentence I don't know what I would've said, I could sit in the car and tell Noelle Lange my deepest secret.

"Ok that was Taylor, and she said she is going to call everyone and they will meet us at the hospital." she said when she hung up the phone.

"Now what was I saying, oh yea so why aren't you in Paris with Poison Ivy?" she asked

"Haha, Poison Ivy, that's a new one. I didn't go to Paris with her because.." I was cutoff again but not by the phone, but by Noelle.

"Hollis I know, you don't have to say it. You're still in love with Reed."

"What I mean, how did you.." again cutoff.

"I watch things, and I also know for a fact that she still loves you too." she told me.

"Thanks Noelle." I told her with a big grin on my face.

She looks me dead in the eyes and says,

"That's what friends are for."


	4. I Need You

Chapter 4: I Need You

No one came in my room for a couple hours, except the nurses who kept telling me I was going to feel better if I took every pill they gave me. I didn't really like taking a bunch of medicine because of my mom, but they insisted and who was I to say I didn't want to take them. It was either I take them myself or they force me to take them, they made sure they pointed that out when I just stared them. There were at least 6 pills there, all different colors and shapes, some big and some small. Then I saw something in the pile, it was white and had little blue dots on it. Where have I seen that before? Was I just imaging it? I tried to grab it but there was nothing, maybe I was just paranoid. After the nurses left I just sat there, I didn't want to go back to bed, I have been sleeping forever.

I decided to do something I probably shouldn't do, I got up and used the crutches that were right by my bed. I walked over to the window and just stood there watching the people down below, trying to make out if I new any of them. All of a sudden a black Sedan pulls up and a group of people get out. I tried my hardest to make them out and when I did I regretted it. There were six of them, Taylor, Kiran, Graham, Daniel, Sawyer, and Upton Giles. I thought for a second about what I could do to avoid talking to them or even seeing them, at least Upton. So I slowly made my way back to my bed and laid down and shut my eyes, hoping they would think I was asleep and not even bother coming in to see me and just leave. Five minutes later I heard footsteps coming towards my room, and the door slowly opening. Its ok Reed just keep pretending, of course they will leave, right?

"I think she's asleep." Taylor said to the people behind her.

"Lets just go in and wait for her to wake up. Just don't make to much noise." Kiran said to them.

Damn it!! Why did they have to wait 'til I wake up? I laid there for at least twenty minutes contemplating on if I should just wait longer or just wake up and get it over with, guess what I decided…

"OMG!! She's awake!!" yelled Kiran

"Oh Reed, we were so worried!!" shouted Taylor while she hugged me.

"You guys am not deaf, just a little hurt right now." I told them with a slight chuckle to break the tension.

"Can I talk to you alone Reed?" Upton asked.

Right when he asked that Josh walked in and looked straight at me. It was like he was looking straight into my soul and he knew that I needed to talk to him really bad. But he still turned around and started to walk out of the room.

"Actually no you cant Upton, I have to talk to Joshua right now." I told him.

Josh turned around and looked at Upton this time, and a small smirk came through on his face.

"Oh umm, ok." is all Upton said before he walked right past Josh and out of the room, Taylor and the others followed him.

"So what did you need to talk to me about?" Josh asked

"Oh I just said that so I didn't have to talk to him." I told him. I wasn't letting him get off the hook that easy.

"Huh?" he asked

"I don't really want to talk to you." I said.

"Wow. Ok. Well if you don't want to talk to me then I will talk to you." he said

"No, I don't wanna even listen…." I said but then was rudely interpreted by him.

"Please just give me five minutes." he pleaded.

"Fine. Five minutes." I told him.

"Am sorry for acting like a jerk early and am sorry for being such a prick and a liar to you. And I just want you to know I only went out with Ivy to make you jealous, and we broke up the day after you left to St. Barts. I just couldn't stand to see you with other guys, and I cant get the image of you and Dash out of my mind, but I have to get over that because its in the past and I know many of the facts now. And I want you to know that I love you, and that I will never stop loving you no matter what, if you make me mad or you make stupid decisions, or if you choose your friends over me I just needed to give you some space I was smothering you I guess. I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do. If you want to be friends with Noelle I will get use to that, I will have to because that is what people do when they love that person. I love you Reed, and I will never stop falling head over heels for you. That's all I have to say so I guess I will go. Bye Reed."

Did this really just happen? He is apologizing to me? And now he gonna walk out again, I cant let him do that again, I cant live without Joshua Hollis..

"Wait Josh!!" I said, then I got out of my bed and ran to him. I ran well tried to run to him with a crutch and kissed him with such passion that we stumbled into the door.

"Whoa, Reed careful there. Don't wanna break anything else ." he said with a chuckle.

"I love you, Josh!!" I told him and kissed him again.

"I Love you too, Reed." he told me and kissed me.

"And Josh, I have a confession." I told him when I sat down.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I will always need you." I told him.

All he did was smile, a smile that made my insides melt, that was the truth. I will always need him and love him….


	5. Free

Chapter 5: Free

Today is the day I've been waiting for, am getting out of the hospital. How long have I been in here, oh right 2 weeks, of nothing but boredom. Of course Josh and Noelle came down almost every day, or when they could because classes had started again. Am so excited to go back to school, it feels weird saying that but I am. I cant wait to see everyone, and Josh more. Duh. We have been back together again for 12 days, I know am a nerd for keeping track but what else is there to do when your laying in a hospital bed 24/7. My parents came to visit for a couple days, but left 2 days ago. They wanted to stay longer but I told them I was completely fine, and I was going to be in good hands. Noelle called an hour ago and said she wanted to pick me up, and to let her or she would be very mad, and break my other leg. We all know Noelle Lange doesn't bluff, so I told her I would wait for her. I called Josh and told him, and I could tell he was a bit upset that he couldn't pick me up, but said fine, but to meet him at the Art Cemetery once I got on campus.

"Ms. Lange is here to pick you up." Dr. Leon told me.

"Ok thank you." I told him.

"Now make sure you only take your pain pills when your in pain, not just to take them, ok?" Dr. Leon said.

"Oh ok, bye Doctor and thanks for everything." I said.

"Your very welcome, and get better soon." he said.

"Thanks." I said on my way out the door.

Finally I was free from the hospital…..

"Hey Reed." Noelle greeted me when I got downstairs.

"Hi, oh my god am so happy to finally get out of here." I told her.

"Yea me too, I cant wait to show you the surprise I brought you!!" she said.

"A surprise?" I asked

"Yea just think of it as a welcome home present, ok?" she said

"Umm, ok." I said.

Great a surprise, I hate surprises. She's gonna get a pretty big surprise herself, I still haven't told her about mine and Josh's makeup yet. As we were walking to her car, I could tell that someone was waiting inside. It looked like a really tall guy, but it could be a girl. Her windows are too tinted I can only see a figure with short hair, definitely a guy. Could it be Josh? Did she really figure out we were going out again? I mean I guess she could, she is Noelle Lange.

"Here he is.." she shouted as she opened the door.

Who I saw is someone I didn't expect. Why would she bring him here?

"Upton?" was all I could say, but I didn't say it to him I was fully focused on Noelle.

"Hello love." he said.

"Upton really?? You brought Upton as a welcome home present?" I said with air quotes.

"Well yea, I mean he hasn't seen you since the accident." she said all innocent.

"Really??" I asked desperately.

"Yes why does it matter, he's here." she said looking a little confused now.

"It matters because I don't like him, I hate him. We broke up the day after the accident, I mean I broke up with him. And now am dating Josh, we've been dating for 12 days." I told her in a low voice.

"WHAT!! You broke up with him?" she asked pointing at Upton.

"YES!! Didn't he mention that, when you asked him to come down here?" I asked.

"No, he said you guys just had a fight and he really missed you. And why didn't you tell me you and Josh are back together?" she told me.

"You told her we just had a fight? Are you flippin kidding me, if I didn't have a broken leg I would kick your British ass right now." I yelled at him.

"We did just have a fight, I remember it and I've missed you. I wanted us to start where we left off on the boat, remember?" he said.

"So you don't remember me saying Upton its OVER?" I asked and screamed.

Is this guy seriously retarded, or what??

"Yes I do remember you saying that, but you were mad from the conversation that you had with that idiot, what's his name? John or something?" he asked.

"Its Josh, and he has more heart then you do in one ass cheek. And am glad I didn't sleep with you because your just like every other dushbag all you want is some ass." I yelled back at him.

"You know what people were right about you, you are a bitch with a stick up your ass. And I wish I could have slept with you just so that I could prove that I got you to sleep with me." he said back and smirked.

"Did you just call her a bitch??" Noelle asked him.

"No, I called her a bitch with a stick up her ass." he said with all his cooky confidence.

And I cant believe this happened but Noelle slapped him across the face.

"Don't you ever call her that! And you can find your own way home, come on Reed get in the car." she said.

So we got in the car, backed out, and left Upton in the middle of the parking lot.

"Thanks Noelle." I said.

"Don't even think just because I stood up for you that am not mad at you." she said.

"For what?" I asked her

"For not telling me you broke up with him and then getting back together with Josh. And that you almost had sex with Upton." she yelled. It looked like she was close to tears, she was really mad.

All I did was stare out the window for the rest of the drive back. I could apologize but that wont help anything, I have to prove to her that am sorry. Right about now I wished I wasn't free and was still in the hospital.


	6. Help

Chapter 6: Help

The car ride home from the hospital was excruciating, we didn't talk at all. I stared out the window, and looked at all the buildings of Easton, my home. Unfortunately I don't think I should stay at Billings tonight since me and Noelle share a room. I told myself I would just go to my room really fast pack a bag and head to the Art Cemetery to meet up with Josh. We were getting closer to the gates which lead to the dorms, and closer. It seemed like time had slowed down just for this car ride home, I could here my own heart beating it was so quiet. We pulled up to the curb and parked.

"Thanks for the ride, Noelle." I told her.

"Mmmhhmm." is all she said.

So I got out and started towards Billings to get my things.

"Reed!!" screamed Constance. Gosh I haven't seen her in awhile. Am finally home.

"Hey, calm down don't have a heart attack." I said with a laugh.

"Sorry, am just so excited that your finally back." she said.

"Awe thanks, but I have to go get something's from my room and then I have to go meet Josh." I told her.

"Oh ok, we can hang out tomorrow." she said as I headed towards the elevator.

"Okie dokie, looking forward to it." I yelled back.

I got upstairs and started looking for a bag to put some clothes in. Oh who cares tomorrows Saturday anyways its not like I have class, so decided to not bring anything except my toothbrush which I put in my purse and I grabbed my key and put it in my back pocket. Now I have to call Josh to tell him to meet me there.

"Hello." he answered.

"Hey cutie, am on campus and heading to the Art Cemetery right now, ok?" I said.

"Alright, am here already so just come on in." he said.

"Oh ok, umm I'll be there in like 5 minutes." I said.

"Are you ok, you sound sad or depressed." he asked.

"No am fine, really, just.. I'll tell you about it when I get there, ok?" I asked.

"Promise??" he asked with a chuckle.

"Yes, I promise." I said.

"Alright, see ya in like 3 minutes." he said.

"Ok bye." I said.

"Bye." he said.

I hung up and was downstairs now. I was walking to the front door when I was stopped by none other then Noelle herself.

"Where do you think your going?" she asked me.

"Where ever the hell I want, your not my mother I don't have to explain everything to or tell you every single thing that I do." I said.

"That's fine. But I would start packing if I were you." she said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her

"Exactly what I said, you better start packing." she said as she was walking towards the elevator.

"Whatever." is all I said as I walked out the door.

I couldn't wait to get to the Art Cemetery to see Josh, he was the only good thing in my life right now. He would understand, right? I hope he will cause I need to vent to someone and he is the only person I have. When I got to the Art Cemetery the door was unlocked so I walked right in. He was in his usual spot painting away.

"Hey." I said right when I saw him. I didn't want to sneak up on him.

He turned around and his face lit up just like I hoped it would.

"Hey yourself." he said with a huge smile on his face. He got up and walked over to me and gave me a big bear hug. I wish time would stop right here, so I could stay in his arms forever.

I could tell he could sense something was wrong with me because he let go to soon to look me in the eyes and ask me…

"What's wrong babe?" he asked.

"Ugh, am just having a really bad day. That's all." I told him.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"Not right now, maybe a little later." I said.

"Ok, just let me know when." he said with a grin. He was trying the cheer me up, and he was kind of I have to admit.

"I while, don't worry. So what are you painting, you looked like you were hard at work." I said trying to kill the sad mad.

"Umm, nothing really. Its not done yet." he said.

"Oh, can I see it?" I asked.

"Not yet, when its all done then you can see it, ok?" he said.

"Alrighty. Oh is it ok if I stay you tonight?" I asked him.

"Of course you can, you don't even have to ask." he said with a big grin on his face.

"Thanks." I said.

What was wrong with me? Here is Josh, my boyfriend, sitting here right next to me and we are all alone, wouldn't I usually just start kissing him, and making out. Am I scared?? I couldn't think of any explanation.

"So, they put up new painting huh? I asked as I got up to walk around the room.

Josh sat there for a second looking kinda confused.

"Umm, yea I guess they did." he said also getting up and walking around the room.

Why couldn't I just kiss him? Things were seriously messed up right now, I couldn't stop thinking about what Noelle said and what had happened earlier. Oh my god am crying now, I cant just start to cry for nothing. Ugh something is wrong, I cant let Josh see me like this.

"I actually I should get going, I umm have stuff to do. But I will see you tomorrow I guess." I said as I was getting my purse.

"Wait, What?? Your just gonna leave. What's really wrong. You won't even look at me, did, did I do something wrong?" he asked with lots of desperation in is voice.

Just by hearing the desperation in his voice, just by hearing him ask if he did something wrong made me start to cry even more. Am such an idiot, I couldn't let him think that. \

"No, no, no its not you. Why would you think that? I just need to go." I said trying to calm myself down.

"But I wanted to see you, and talk to you. Please don't go, please. Will you look at me please and tell me its nothing that I did." he said.

"Josh I said its nothing about you. Will you please just believe me. Please?" I asked

"No, I won't believe you unless you look me in the eyes right now and tell me its not me." he said.

"I have to go, Josh." I said as I turned to go. But then he caught my arm and turned me around.

"Why are you crying? Please tell me what's wrong." he said cupping my face in his hands.

"This has nothing to do with you, Josh. Please just let me go." I asked pleading now.

Then he did something that made my problems go away for a little bit, for a split second it felt like I was in heaven, like Josh was my own personal angel. He kissed me with such passion and desperation to make me stay. And I kissed him back. It felt so good I didn't want to stop, but I had to go.

"Josh please, you don't wanna hear my problems ok. I just need to go." I said half out of it.

"But Reed, I love you. You can tell me anything. And you promised you would tell me what's wrong." he said.

"But.." I said.

"No buts, you promised." he said as he led me to one of the couches to sit down.

"Now tell me what's wrong and maybe I can help." he said reassuringly.

"Ok, well it started when me and Noelle were at the hospital….."


	7. For The First Time

Chapter 7: For The First Time

I had just finished telling Josh what had happened with Noelle on the way home from the hospital. It felt good to tell someone. I could tell Josh was listening and he really did want to help me. He started suggesting ways to talk to Noelle, and maybe apologize to her about what I told her before I left Billings. But did she really want me gone?

"I think she was just mad when she told you to start packing." Josh said.

"Yea maybe, but what if she's serious. I won't be in Billings anymore. I'll be in Pemerbly again." I said.

"That's ok. So you'll be in Pemerbly. That doesn't change anything. You'll still hangout with Constance and the other Billings girls. I think you'll be fine." Josh said.

"Yea I guess, I hate it when your right." I said with a slight chuckle to let him know that am feeling kinda better.

He just laughed. I love it when he laughs its like music to my ears. I needed to cheer up for Josh, so I don't ruin the time we have together.

"Josh." I said.

"Hmm?" he says

"I love you, a lot." I told him.

"I love you too Reed." he said.

I could tell he did, because he looked right into my eyes as he said the words I have been wanting to hear all day. I really do love him and nothing was going change that ever, all relationships have their up and downs right? Well ours has had a few more then usual, but what doesn't kill us or break us apart will make us stronger. Our relationship kinda reminded me of The Notebook, the way they loved each other and how they grew old together, that was exactly what we're gonna do. We're gonna be together forever.

"Reed? Reed? Hello earth to Reed." Josh said shaking his hand in front of my eyes.

"Huh? What? Sorry, I was thinking." I said.

"Yea, you were kinda zoned out for a couple minutes there." he said.

"Sorry." I said.

"S'ok. I was trying to ask you if for Spring Break you would like to join me and my family in Maine." he asked.

"Maine?" I asked back, I think am still a little out of it.

"Yea." he said.

"Ok, yea. That sounds great." I said.

"Good." he said with a triumphant smile on his face.

"I guess I better get going. Curfews in 5 minutes." I said.

"Yea, I guess your right. Don't wanna get caught." he said with a chuckle.

"Definitely not." I said laughing.

"Ready??" he asked as he took my hand.

"Yep, lets go. But you don't have to walk me back to Billings." I said.

"I thought you were gonna stay with me tonight?" he asked.

"I was just thinking that maybe Noelle just needed sometime to cool off so I was just gonna go back there. And if we get caught, and there's Trey…" I started thinking of every excuse.

"Reed, come on I was looking forward to you staying with me, and I already called Trey and told him to find some where else to stay. Stop making up lame excuses." he said.

"But, I, I mean what if we get caught??" I asked sounding a little too desperate.

"We wont, I promise. Please stay with me tonight, I was really excited when you asked." he said making that puppy dog face that I love, and hate at the same time because every time he makes that face he knows am going to give in.

"Ugh, fine…" I said smiling.

"YES!!" he yelled making a fist.

"Come on, ya dork, before we really do get caught." I laughed.

"Alright on the count of three we run all the way to Ketlar. Ok?" he said.

"Ok. One, Two…" I said.

"Three. Run!!" he whispered.

We ran as fast as we could to Ketlar. For once I felt free of everything, I felt free of Billings, Noelle and all the drama. I was with the love of my life, and for the first time I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.


	8. God Works In Mysterious Ways

Chapter 8: God Works In Mysterious Ways

We ran all the way to Ketlar hand-in-hand. I felt so free from everything; school, Billings, Noelle, all that mattered was Josh. He loved me and that was all that I could ask for. We crept upstairs trying to avoid anybody that was still awake, especially Gage. He would probably go around telling everyone about us and spread rumors that aren't even true, I swear he gossips like a teenage girl. But nobody saw us or heard us, we got into Josh's room safe and sound.

"Are you tired?" Josh asked me.

"Not really, are you?" I asked him.

"Not if your not." he said with a grin on his face.

"Alright." I said as I was going to sit on Josh's bed.

It was sort of awkward, neither of us said anything. I was sitting on his bed and he was sitting at his desk toying with whatever he could. Why did this feel weird? I mean we obviously didn't come here just to sit here right? I wonder what he was thinking right now, was it as weird for me as it was for him? I decided I would be the one to break the silence.

"So this is fun." I said sarcastically.

"I could have gone to Billings and sat on my bed." I said.

Right after I said that something in Josh changed, like something snapped, something bad. He looked at me with disgust in his eyes.

"Then why did you come then??" he asked with lots of strain in his voice.

"Because you wanted me to, remember. I was fine with just going back to Billings, but YOU insisted that I come here with you. You said that you asked Trey to find somewhere else to go, any of this ring a bell?" I asked.

"Actually yes it does ring a bell, but if you didn't want to come here why didn't you just say so?" he asked obviously pissed.

"I did wanna come, but now that am here I don't think I wanna be." I said looking down at the ground. I couldn't stand to look him in the eye and say those words.

"Well then maybe YOU should leave." he said looking me straight in the eyes.

Was he serious? I couldn't believe he could actually look me in the eyes and say that. I hate fights, especially ones that can be avoided, like the one were having now. I wasn't gonna cry, not in front of him.

"Fine, I'll leave." I said trying to hold back tears.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I said as I grabbed my stuff.

I paused at the door waiting for him to say something like stop don't go, am sorry. But nothing came out of his mouth not even a goodbye, all he did was stare straight ahead, not even straight ahead like at me but at the wall in front of him. I knew I lost this fight, did he not take his pills today. God only knows what happened, and what will happen to us in the future. I just hope God loves me enough to keep us together. I don't think I can live without Josh in my life. I walked out of the room closing the door gently behind me so that I wouldn't wake anybody. I faced the door and broke down. I couldn't hold it in any longer, all this drama, all the fights, everything was just too much. I cant take it anymore, I need someone that's there for me, someone that I can talk to and that tells me everything is gonna be ok. But I know for a fact that one person doesn't exist. If you think you have that special person, your wrong. That person that you think is so perfect can come along one day and just stab you in the back, and stop telling you everything is gonna be ok.

"Reed?"

I turned around to see the one person I really didn't wanna see.

"Hi, umm sorry Gage I didn't mean to wake you up." I said trying to talk through my tears.

"Are you ok?" he asked sincerely.

"Ha, what do you care?" I asked him.

"Cant a guy wonder, jeez Reed." he said.

"Look am just having a really really bad day." I said.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"Not right now, but thanks Gage." I said.

"Well when you want to, am here." he said smiling.

"Thanks. Really that means a lot. I really don't have that many people who are there for me." I said

"Well I am. So, do you want me to walk you to Billings?" he asked looking down at the floor with a slight blush on his cheeks.

Was Gage really crushing on me, or was he just trying to be nice?

"Umm, you don't have to if you don't want to." I said trying to control my breathing.

"Well I have nothing else to do, so come on." he said holding out his hand.

To my surprise I took his hand, and he really did walk me all the way to Billings like he said he would.

"Thanks for walking me back." I said.

"Sure, anytime. Listen there isn't some guy, his name might be Josh, that I have to beat up do I." he said with a smile on his face. He was obviously kidding.

"No. At least not yet." I said laughing.

"So it was just a fight then?" he asked being totally serious now.

"As far as I know of, yes it was just a fight." I said.

"What do you mean as far as you know of?" he asked obviously worried.

"I don't know, it could just be me. But we'll see. Thanks again for walking me back, I appreciate it." I said trying to avoid the question.

"Sure. I will see you tomorrow then." he said as he was backing away from me.

"Alright, bye." I said waving and then turning to go into Billings.

"Bye." I heard him say as I was opening the door.

I looked back and he was still walking backwards making sure I got into Billings safely. I waved before I closed the door, so did he. As I was walking upstairs I kept thinking about what had just happened. Well you know how I said that those special people that are always there for you and tell you that everything is gonna be ok don't exist well maybe they do just not in the people you would expect. God works in mysterious ways.


	9. Just A Dream

Chapter 9: Just A Dream

You know how when you dream about something while your sleeping, and then the next day you try to tell someone about that dream because it was either so great, or so sad, or so scary and you cant remember, well that's definitely not what happened with my dream, or was it meant as a nightmare? I could remember every single detail of it, all the colors, all the people, everything. I just kept replaying it my mind the next morning when I woke up.

My dream/nightmare went like this, I went to Ketlar with Josh to stay with him for the night, we sat there for what felt like an eternity and then I asked him why I even went there because I could have just went back to Billings and done the same thing. For some reason he doesn't really get what am saying I think he takes it the wrong way, even though I was just trying to be funny. He then asks me why I even came and that I should just leave, that he set this whole night up with Trey, blah blah blah. So I leave because I am an idiot, and am standing right outside his door and I brake down. Next thing I know Gage is in my dream asking me if am ok. It had to have been a dream because Gage is usually not this nice. He then asks me if I want him to walk me back to Billings and I say YES!! What the hell was I thinking?

"OH MY GOD!" I yell to myself as I sit up in bed.

"I'm not dreaming." I say to myself.

"Knock knock." someone says as they are opening my door.

"Oh hey Constance." I say to her.

"Hey, you gotta get up, its almost breakfast." she tells me.

"Um, ok yea um right. I'll be down there in 10 minutes." I tell her.

"Okie dokie. See ya there." she says as she's closing the door.

So I get up and get ready in 10 minutes, skipping a shower. As am walking to breakfast I see Josh walking there as well. I know he saw me too, but for some reason he just kept walking, didn't even bother to wait up for me or wave or not even a hi or good morning. I really wish last night was a dream. I start walking a little faster to try to catch up with Josh.

"Josh, wait please." I yell out to him. And to my surprise he does stop just enough time for me to get to him.

"Hey." I say to him.

"Hey." he says a little to fast.

"Is everything ok?" I ask him.

"Does it sound like everything's ok, Reed?" he asks me.

"Look all I did was ask you a question, there's no need to get an attitude about it." I say right back to him.

"You know what your right Reed, am sorry. Now I gotta go." he says sarcastically and starts to walk away. But I grab his arm and say,

"What is your problem? Why are you acting like this?" I ask him.

"What's MY problem are you serious right now, am sorry if it came off like I have a problem, but maybe you should look in the mirror and ask yourself that same question." he says.

"I don't have a problem with anything except the way your acting." I say to him.

"Is everything ok?" someone behind me asks. I turn around to see Gage standing there.

"Everything's fine, now I have to go." Josh says. As he is walking away Gage asks me,

"Are you ok?"

"No, am not ok." I say on the verge of tears.

"Come on, lets go talk somewhere in private." he says and takes me by the hand and leads me to the library.

"This is what you call private?" I ask him.

"Well it was either this or the Art Cemetery, so I figured this one was the best choice." he responds.

"Yea I guess your right." I say as I flop down on a couch.

"So…." he says.

"So I don't know what am doing wrong, and he doesn't talk to me about it. Am just sick and tired of fighting with people, you know." I say.

"Yea. But I don't think your doing anything wrong, maybe you should try and talk to him." he suggests.

"I do, I really do. Nothing works. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." I say. Ok now am crying.

Just saying those words makes my stomach turn and makes me cry. Josh and I are meant to be, I mean we love each other right. I love him, but does he really love……….me????

"You cant say that. If you think it was meant to be then it is, but if you think it wasn't then its gonna turn out that you guys aren't. You have to think positive you know?" he says.

"Yea, I guess. Positive is good, but I just I don't know anymore. Its complicated." I say.

"I know what that feels like. Complicated is a very bad word, especially in a relationship." he tells me.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asks me.

"Sure." I say.

"Do you KNOW what love means?" he asks.

What kind of question is that, do I know what love means.. Ha.. I guess from the expression on face he knew I didn't, so he says

"Love is an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion. Now the real question is do you guys have that feeling of tender affection and compassion towards each other?" he says/asks.

"Wow, that's wow." I say because that's all I can literally say. Who would have thought that Gage Coolidge is this deep.

"Some people my think they are in love, but they think of love as giving them things and moving in together, and kissing each other. But not many people really know the true meaning of what it means to actually LOVE someone." he says.

I am in complete and total awe right now. This is the last person I would have thought knew anything about what love is. I mean seriously, am I dreaming?

"Gage, that's…. Am not gonna lie but that's really deep, and well thought out. Have you ever been in LOVE, like the actual love?" I ask him.

"Umm, I have, I mean I still am. But it kinda doesn't really work out because I love her but I don't think she loves me, at least not like I want her to." he says.

"Awe, Gage!! That's so cute. Who is she, so I can tell her to like start loving you." I ask him.

"Haha, its its no one you know." he says blushing slightly.

"Oh, well any girl that is stupid enough to not like you doesn't deserve you." I tell him.

"Thanks, that's means a lot." he says looking down at the floor trying to hide the blush that's creeping up his neck.

"I have to get to class, but thanks for listening and the advice. Hopefully I will get the courage to go and talk to him." I tell him.

"Yea I have to get to class too, and I think you'll get the courage sooner then you think. Bye." he says and then turns around and starts walking down aisle.

"What do you mean, sooner then I think?" I yell/whisper to him.

"You'll see." he says as he turns down another aisle.

Two minutes later I turn around and Josh is standing right in front of me. So this is what he meant, come on Reed you can do this.


	10. The Kiss

Chapter 10: The Kiss

So am thinking Gage text Josh while I was spilling my heart out, because two minutes after he left Josh ended up in front of me. I could kill Gage right now, but it was also nice I guess. I was beginning to think that Gage could actually be a really good friend. Anyways enough about Gage, its time to get down to business.

"Hey." I said, because it was all I could say.

"Gage said you needed to talk to me about something important. What's up?" he asked.

"Yea, umm you should sit down." I said.

"No am good, I have to go soon. So please make it quick." he said.

"Ok, maybe we should just talk about this later then." I tell him. He was being a huge JERK right now.

"Seriously you cant just tell me what's up." he said.

"Yes am serious, its very important that I talk to you but you have to want to actually talk to so just go where you have to go. Its fine." I tell him.

"You know what lets just get this over with ok? I will cancel my plans just for you, does that make you happy?" he asks me.

Ok now am getting mad, who the hell does he think he is? He is being a total asshole. I just want to run away from him right now and never talk to him again. I have to remember what Gage said, build up the courage. Ready 3, 2, 1.….

"Josh do you love me?" I ask him. I kinda surprise myself, but not as much as I surprised him. He is just staring at me, like why is she asking me this. I can feel myself start to sweat, my palms are all sweaty and the back of my neck it getting hot. Please just answer me I say to him in my head.

"What do you mean do I love you, of course I do. What kind of question is that?" he says/asks.

"It's a very good question to ask someone actually, I mean you say that you love me, but are you IN love with me?" I ask.

"Where is this coming from Reed?" he asks me.

"Please just answer the question Josh." I say to him.

"Yes am in love you. Every single day I love you even more." he says.

"Ok, now do you actually know what love means?" I ask him.

"Are you serious? Ok ok, love means that you will always be with this one person for the rest of your life, no matter the cost. No matter how the big the fights are, or how big the sacrifices are. That's what love means to me." he says to me.

I don't know what to say, I think that was a better definition then what Gage gave. I am completely speechless. Josh is staring at me with those big blue eyes waiting for me to say something.

"Did I pass?" he asks with a slight chuckle.

"Yea, I guess." I say.

"Cool, so can I go now?" he asks.

"Sure." I say.

"Alright I will see you later." he says as he is walking up to kiss me.

Funny thing is, he kisses my forehead. There is definitely something going now with him, or is it me? So I had the courage to ask him what love means, but not to actually talk to him about our problems. As he is walking away, and I watch him the whole way out I start to cry. Why cant I just confront him? Why cant I just come straight out and tell him whats wrong? Why am I so scared? I decide to gather up my stuff and head to Billings before anybody can see me crying. I practically ran there. Once I was in my room, I just let it out. I sat there crying for what felt like 5 hours, but was really only about 20 minutes, thinking about what had just happened. Is that what our relationship was coming to, to the point where we couldn't talk to each other about anything. I guess I was thinking really hard about that because when my phone rang, it scared the crap out of me.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hey its Gage." he says.

"Oh hey, what's up?" I ask him.

"You know what's up, how did the TALK go?" he asks me.

"It it went ok, I guess." I tell him trying to hold back the new batch of tears that are forming around my eyes.

"Just ok?" he asks.

"Umm, yea yea, just ok." I tell him.

"That doesn't sound good, are you ok?" he says/asks.

"Am totally fine, trust me am perfect, couldn't be better." I tell him, trying to convince myself more then him.

"No your not I can hear it in your voice, you sound sad. Do you want me to come over or do you wanna come over here and we can talk about it?" he asks.

"Nnnnnooooo, am totally fine, really I am." I try to tell him through my sobbing.

"Am coming over there right now, don't move ok?" he says.

"Ok." is all I say and hang up.

Five minutes later I open the door to Gage. He immediately comes in and hugs me, and for some reason I hug him back. It feels good to be in someone's arms, I never thought they would be Gage's but it really doesn't matter who it is anymore. I have learned more then anyone that you cant judge a book by its cover. We sit down on the ground across from each other and just sit there for a little while. I can feel Gage staring at me intently, even though am staring at the ground. I would glance up through my hair and catch him looking at me, and when I would catch him he would look away quickly and blush. How could he be crushing on me, I mean am totally not his type, he has said so himself. He loves someone remember he confessed yesterday, that he loved someone right. We just sat there, and I kept thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and……

"OH MY GOD!" I say out loud.

"What? What's wrong? Are you ok?" he asks me obviously worried.

"Umm, yea am fine. I was just thinking." I tell him.

"Ok, don't do that you scared the crap out of me." he says.

That makes two of us. I didn't mean to say OH MY GOD out loud but what I realized would have made you say it out loud too. While I was thinking about Gage and the girl he quote on quote loves, I came up with myself. Am I the girl that Gage loves? Is that why he is being so nice to me and helping me out? But if he really loves me then why is he helping me with Josh? Or is it that he loves me so much he wants to see me happy? Oh my God, am so confused.

"Reed? Are you sure your ok?" he asks me pulling me back to reality.

"Am fine." I tell him.

"Ok so tell me what happened with Josh." he says.

"Oh umm, so right when you left like two minutes later he showed up and said that you told him I needed to talk to him. Which also reminds me I am going to kill you for that." I say as I playfully punch him.

"What, I had to. It was perfect timing. But I guess I should have warned you, so am sorry." he says.

"Its fine, but next time warn me please. Anyways he tells me he only has a couple minutes and to make it fast. And it kinda goes down hill from there." I tell him.

"Hmm, ok. Go on." he says.

"Ok, I ask him if he loves me and he asks what kind of question that is but says yes of course he loves me. But then I ask him if he's IN love with me. He says yea, each and everyday he falls in love with me even more. Then I ask him what love even means. He then says that love means spending the rest of your life with that one special person, no matter how big the fights, or how big the sacrifices. And then he leaves. Oh and he kisses me but on the forehead, which was really weird." I tell him.

"Wow, I think that's a better definition then mine was. He kisses you but on the forehead, I guess that could be weird." he says.

"It was because he usually kisses me on the lips." I tell him.

"Hmm, ok. Can you show me how he kisses you?" he asks me.

Is he insane??? He wants me to kiss him, to show him how Josh kisses me on the lips? This guy is on something, seriously…

"Excuse me?" I ask him.

"Come on Reed, its just a kiss. We are both adults here right?" he says.

"I mean yea we are, but…" I say.

"Its ok if you don't want to, I mean I understand." he says.

"It was just a question." he adds.

"Right, umm right." I say.

"I gotta get going, but we will pick up where we left off tomorrow, I mean about the talk of course." he says nervously.

"Of course, the talk right." I tell him.

Ok so I know ii have Josh and everything, but I think I really do want to kiss Gage. He has been a really good friend to me the last couple of days, he has been there for me. And its just a kiss right? I mean we are both mature, understanding, adults. Just looking at him, those big brown eyes, and full lips, those kissable lips. He's walking to the door Reed, better make up your mind.

"Gage wait…" I say.

"Wha…." he says.

Well he trys to say it, but I cut him off because am KISSING him!! OH MY GOD!! Am actually kissing Gage Coolidge. And it feels so good too!! I have to admit, he is a great kisser. The kiss lasts about 2 minutes, we both don't want to stop but I stop before it gets out of hand.

"Sorry, I umm.." I tell him out of breath.

"Its, its fine." he says.

"You should probably go." I tell him.

"Yea, I'll see you tomorrow." he says with a smile as he is opening the door.

"Bye." I say before I close the door.

"Bye" he says.

That night I didn't dream about Josh or even think about him, I thought about Gage, all about Gage.


	11. Broken

**Chapter 11: Broken**

**Last night all I thought about was Gage. Did I do the right thing, should I have kissed him? I mean don't get me wrong that kiss was amazing, but I don't think it should have happened. Great just another thing I screwed up on, why cant I just be perfected? I couldn't let one kiss get to me though, it was nothing just an experiment I think, oh god I cant face Josh or Gage. Whatever I do I cannot tell Josh, he will be so crushed and disappointed and I cant let that happen again. Today is a new day. I kept telling myself that over and over until there was a knock on the door. **

"**Who is it?" I asked.. Please don't be Gage, I cant deal with you right now. **

"**It's Gage." he said. **

**GREAT!! JUST WHAT I NEED!!**

"**Ummm come in." I said getting up from bed and walking across the room towards the window to be as far away from him as possible, without actually jumping out the window. **

"**Morning." he said with a big smile as he walked in. **

"**Hey." I said trying not to sound uncomfortable. **

**He gave my a smile and walked over to my bed and sat down. There was a long very awkward silence between us. I was not about to break it, all I did was stare out the window at all the people walking and all the leaves falling from the trees. **

"**So, do you wanna get back to where we were yesterday?" he asked breaking the silence.**

"**Excuse me?" I asked clearly confused. **

"**About what happened with Josh yesterday, remember I had to leave. We never got to finish with that situation." he said. **

"**Oh right, that." I said. **

"**Are you ok?" he asked me, noticing my obvious discomfort. **

"**Yea. Am totally fine. Do I not look fine?" I asked**

"**No I mean I was just asking. I mean you look great, umm so about yesterday." he said blushing slightly and looking at the ground. **

"**Thanks. So yea yesterday that was basically all that happened, but it was just weird cuz he kissed me on my forehead and not my lips like usual." I told him. **

"**Mhm… Ok look about last night.." he said.**

"**Can we just forget what happened last night? Please?" I asked him. **

"**What.. Umm sure yea just forget about it. Right." he said looking at me then to the ground then back to me again. **

**I knew he wasn't going to forget about it. When I told him to forget about it he looked so hurt I could handle it. So I got up and went over to him and sat next to him. **

"**Look I just I mean we are really good friends and I don't wanna ruin that with a relationship and then there's Josh. I just don't know…" I said. **

"**S'ok. For now we are really good friends, and I don't wanna hurt that or your relationship with Josh. So friends is a good idea." he said **

**Even though he said this I knew he was hurting inside. I just broke his heart. **

"**So lets talk about you now. Yesterday you told me you were in love with someone, I think you should tell me who." I said to him trying to lighten the mood. **

"**You." is all he said. Then he got up and walked out of my room and left me sitting there all by myself. I really did just break his heart. **

**I got up and got ready and went to breakfast not bothering to wait for the other Billings Girls. I needed to be alone for awhile. All that kept going through my mind was what he said before he left:**

"_**You."**_

"_**You."**_

"_**You."**_

"_**You."**_

"_**You."**_

_**I don't know how long I was sitting there alone but when I snapped out of my thoughts there were people all around getting food, talking or gossiping with friends. I scanned the cafeteria for Gage but he wasn't there, but Josh was walking straight toward me with all smiles. When he got to me he bent down and kissed me and said good morning but I was speechless, I really couldn't say anything. **_

"_**Reed?" **_

"_**Hello, Reed?" **_

"_**Reed your scaring me."**_

"_**Reed, are you ok?" **_

"_**What yea am fine, I just…" I trailed off when I saw Gage walked in, hand-in-hand with Ivy Slade. **_

_**WTF!!?? What's going on, didn't he just confess his feelings for me and now he's with Ivy. **_

"_**Reed? You just what?" Josh asked.**_

"_**Sorry, I just didn't sleep well last night." I told him. **_

"_**Oh." is all he said. **_

_**I knew he could sense something was wrong. He kept watching me like at anytime am going to faint or fall over. He leaned towards me and said;**_

"_**Have I told you I love you lately?" he asked.**_

"_**I believe the last time was yesterday but it feels good hearing it again." I said. **_

"_**Well I love you." he said looking directly into my eyes. **_

"_**I love you too." I said back without breaking eye contact. **_

_**I could feel someone staring at me and I knew who it was too. So I though SCREW Gage, and kissed Josh right there and it is a kiss I will never forget. **_


	12. I Promise

Chapter 12: I Promise

After breakfast I told Josh I had to get to class, he asked if he could walk me but I told him that I had forgot something in my room, so I would just catch up with him later. He agreed of course but I could tell he was hurt. I didn't have time for this I needed to find out why Gage was with Ivy. Was he lying to me when he said he loved me? Did he just expect me to drop all that I have with Josh to be with him? That was not going to happen. I mean I love Josh, right? Oh my god, of course I love Josh, he's the love of my life… I really needed to stop thinking about Gage and just focus on school and Josh. As I was leaving the cafeteria I saw Gage out of the corner of my eye and I felt myself start to get hot out of anger, how could he do this. But I just kept walking and once out of the public eye, I started to cry. I felt hot tears start to run down my cheek. Why was I crying?? I don't actually like Gage, do I, I mean he use to be a total jerk to me, and now all of a sudden he loves me?? This cannot be happening.

I rushed to Billings to get my books that I had forgotten, on the way out however I ran right into none other then Noelle.

"OMG, sorry." I said.

"S'ok, I was my fault anyways." she said.

"Noelle do you think we can talk later?" I asked her hoping she would say yes.

"Why don't we just talk now?" she asked.

"But I have class, later would be better." I told her hoping she wouldn't blow up on me.

"Yea sure, whatever." she said as she was turning to leave.

"Cool, I'll see ya later then." I said as I was walking away.

"Yes I guess you will." she said.

Was it just me or was something wrong with her. I mean she didn't bite my head off or anything. I guess that's a good thing, but I was positive that I was going to find out what was wrong tonight. I barely made it to chem, my first period before the late bell rang. Mr. Goodrich was going to be reassigning lab partners, and with my good luck guess who I got……

"Hey." Gage said as he sat down next to me.

All I did was give him a sarcastic wave and became very interested in my lab book. God definitely works in mysterious, evil ways.

"Ok. Did I do something to make you mad?" he asked

_Yes_

"_Nope." is all I said. _

"_Then why are you giving me the cold shoulder?" he asked. _

_I didn't answer him, I just sat there. _

"_Is it that time of the month for you or something, or wait did you have another fight with old joshy boy?" he asked sarcastically. _

_I looked at him and he smirked at me, like he was winning. I was not going to let him win this one, not today. _

"_No, no, no, see I think it's the asshole that am sitting next to. Yea that's definitely it. Oh and that would be you the asshole that am sitting next to." I said and turned around to actually pay attention to Mr. Goodrich. _

_I was smiling on the inside when he didn't have a comeback, all he did was turn around and pay attention. When the bell rang I got up fast so he wouldn't have time to talk to me, and practically ran to me next class. Thank god Gage was not in anymore of my classes, I could actually think and pay attention now. Trig last class of the day, I actually liked math unlike my other classes. Math makes me relax and forget about my problems. After class I walked back to Billings, I decided to take the long way back, because no one else takes it, aka Gage doesn't take it. I couldn't deal with him right now. _

"_Reed" someone shouted from the trees on my way to Billings. _

_I just kept walking, and avoided eye contact. Reed just pretend you didn't hear them call you. _

"_Reed, come here." someone shouted again. _

_Uggh, who could it be?? _

"_Reed, please its Josh." he shouted._

_Josh?? What was he doing out here?? Ok so since its Josh I can go over there. _

"_Josh?? What are you doing out here?" I asked when I got close. _

"_Oh you know, a little of this and little of that." he said as he laughed. _

"_Mhm, am sure. But seriously, what are you doing?" I asked again. _

"_Waiting for you, what else would I be doing." he said taking my hand. _

"_Ha, good answer." I said._

"_Of course it's a good answer, cause its true." he said smiling down at me. _

"_So what are we going to do out here in the middle of the woods?" I asked. _

"_I wanted to show you something." he said. _

"_Oh yea?" I asked. _

"_Yes, come on." he said _

_We walked for what seem forever. There was nothing except trees, trees and more trees. _

"_Josh are we almost there?" I asked. _

"_We are here." he said. _

"_Wha…." was all I could say. _

_In the middle of couple trees there was a blanket and a picnic basket and candles lit everywhere. Its was beautiful. _

"_Josh, this is incredible." I said. _

"_Yea I guess." he said. I could see the blush working up to his cheeks. _

"_Seriously. I love it, thank you." I said. _

"_Your welcome." he said and pulled me into a kiss. _

"_So what do we have to eat??' I asked him. _

"_Umm, well there's sandwiches, fruit bowls, croissants, and a little champagne." he said. _

"_Mmmm, it all sounds good." I said. _

"_Mhm, it sure does. What would you like first." he asked me, always the gentleman. _

"_Umm, how about some fruit and some champagne." I said. _

"_Sounds good, here you go." he said handing me a glass of champagne and a plate of fruit. _

"_So, I have to ask, what's the occasion?" I asked. _

"_Well, just wanted to do something special for ya, and I got a letter from Yale." he said. _

"_What!! Well what did it say?" I asked almost choking on my water. _

"_I haven't opened it yet, I was waiting for you to be here with me." he said while pulling a white envelope out of his back pocket. _

"_What are you waiting for come on, open it!!" I said. _

"_Hahaaha ok ok." he said getting ready to tear open the envelope. _

"_Come on, your not saving the envelope." I said laughing. _

"_I cant do it. I want you to open it for me please." he said. _

"_What?? No, Josh this is your acceptance letter not mine." I said. _

"_Please, for me." he asked. _

"_Josh…." I said. _

"_Come on." he asked while giving me the puppy dog face. _

"_Oh fine. Give it." I said while snatching the envelope from his hands. _

_I opened, and started reading the letter, meanwhile Josh is holding his breath. _

"_Ready?" I asked_

"_Yea, I think so." he said. _

"_Ok, Dear Mr. Joshua Hollis" I said this part extra slow "Congratulations you have been accepted to Yale University." I said practically screaming the last part. _

"_Seriously??" he asked_

"_Duh, of course. They would be crazy not to accept you." I said. _

"_OMG!! I made it." he said getting up and jumping up and down like a five year old that just got a new toy. _

"_hahahahaha, yes you did." I said while standing up. _

"_Am so happy right now, you don't even know." he said grabbing me and pulling me into a tight bear hug. _

"_Am happy for you." I said into his ear before he put me down. _

_We both sat down again, and enjoyed each others company. Neither one of us talked for a while which was giving me time to think. Next year, there wasn't gonna be any of this, no more Josh, no more anything. I was gonna be all by myself. Just thinking about it now makes me hurt, and makes me wanna cry, OMG I am crying. I tried to stop them before Josh could see me, but I couldn't. _

"_Josh, I havta go." I said while getting up. _

"_What, but why." he asked getting up too. _

"_I umm I havta go talk to Noelle." I said, still not facing him. _

"_Umm, ok, let me just get this stuff together and I'll walk you back." he said. _

"_No no its ok, I'll find my way back." I said. I didn't want him to see me crying like this. _

"_Reed." he said. _

"_What?" I asked._

"_Reed look at me." he said. I could tell he was walking towards me cause he voice was getting louder. _

"_Please look at me." he begged. It was breaking my heart to hear him beg, so I slowly turned around., and he was standing right in front of me. _

"_Reed, what's wrong?" he asked taking me in his arms. _

"_Nothing, really. I just havta go." I said, pulling out of his arms. _

"_Did I do something?" he asked._

"_God, no its not you Josh, its me, trust me." I said. I started crying more. _

"_Please tell me what's wrong." he said. _

"_I just, I just don't want you to leave me." I said sobbing now. _

"_Reed, am not going anywhere. Trust me I would never leave you." he said taking me into his arms again. _

"_I do trust you, but I mean you havta leave next year." I said. _

"_Reed, look at me. Next year is next year, am not leaving you now that counts right? And plus Yale isn't far we'll see each other on weekends and holidays and vacations. Ok?" he said. _

"_Promise?" I asked._

"_I promise." he said looking directly into my eyes. _


	13. WTH

Chapter 13: WTH

I had finally gotten back from the woods with Josh and I was dreading the talk with Noelle. I know I had to talk to her but I was definitely on the verge of just not talking to her. I know once I got to Billings she was going to pull me into her room and not let me out until everything was resolved.

"So are you sure you don't wanna go to the Art Cemetery with me for a couple of hours?" Josh asked.

"I really wish I could, but I have tons of homework and I need to talk to Noelle its really important." I told him.

"Alright, well call me later so that I now Noelle didn't kill you or something." He said with slight seriousness.

"Ha-ha. I will definitely call you." I said laughing

"Ok, cuz if you don't I will come over her and make sure she didn't." he said smiling.

"You just want that to happen don't you? Just kidding, plus its just a talk." I told him.

"Mhmm, well I will see you tomorrow. Ok?" he said.

"Yup, sounds good. I love you." I said.

"I love you too Reed Brennan." He says as he leans in and kisses me right on the lips.

Oh yea this is how he really kisses me, but it usually doesn't go for this long. Should I just invite him in? No, I really havta talk to Noelle. So I cut it off before it gets outta hand.

"Josh…I really gotta go…" I say between kisses.

"Ok, ok…. Just one more.." he says between kisses.

"Seriously… I gotta go.." I say pushing him away.

He sighs and says, "I love you." And kisses me on the tip of my nose and jogs away towards Ketlar.

"Love you too." I yell after him. He just raises his arm and waves and smiles.

After I watch him jog away, I walk into Billings and there is complete silence. I walk towards the parlor and there's nobody in there. Ok now I'm a little freaked.

"Hello? Anybody here?" I yelled out.

I was officially scared, where was everybody? I walk up stairs and look in every room, but nothing. How could they leave and not tell me? Not even a text message, I mean I told Noelle we needed to talk later and she couldn't mention she wasn't going to be here. I walk into my room, close the door and go sit on my bed. What am I suppose to do now? I mean I guess I could do my homework that I desperately need to get done. Ok so chem. homework. What the hell, we never learned this…. Uggh. I don't know how long I sat there staring at my book until I heard someone come in the front door down stairs. I got up and went down stairs to see who it was, I mean they gotta be back by now right?

"Uggh, finally you guys are back. Where have you…." I say as I walk into the parlor but stop right away when I realize who it is.

"What the hell are you doing in here? And how did you get in here?" I ask.


End file.
